You've us, love.
Hello lovelies. It’s been a
while now since I last blogged. Life’s pretty much the same and in another
word – dull. My current job demotivated me, I’ve been craving for my happy
source but I haven’t been travelling in a while now (the utmost alternative to
cheer me up), to the extent that I try so frantically with my friends to
squeeze in a trip before year end. Wish me luck.
Ever since I’ve got back to
Penang, I’m so spoiled by all the sinfully good food here. I constantly live the gluttonous lifestyle and hence, gained weight in a ridiculous way. It’s bad. And
don’t even get me started on the fact that I gave up on myself and settle in
such situation that I barely even doll up myself to head out now. I absolutely enjoy
idling at home, having the take-outs, and cuddling with the boyfriend with a
couple of good movies. Gahh, badddd!
Anyway,
my best friend was having a short break from her job at Adelaide and we spent a
day together catching up/doing everything fun together. Boyfriend was out of
town for a week training at KL, and I figured this is perfect for me to stop
living the decadent life for at least, a weekend. Well, I love brunch, particularly
having brunch with my loved ones. So I literally drag my fat ass up in a
Saturday morning to put some makeup on, and threw on the only outfits that could
hide all the fats underneath and frankly? The only best piece that I could fit in. I
was so thrilled to see them after so long!
I’m so gratified of having
these beautiful ladies as my best friends. Albeit being in different continents
and cities or parted in different career pathways, our bond just grow stronger over time. Also, we never find ourselves being awkward despite of inadequate times
spending with each other, or even if we are only able to meet up probably once or
twice a year.
I had so much fun over the
weekend but also have a lot of thoughts stirring my mind. Somehow, I always
love writing my thoughts down. I felt like I can re-read it again and somehow see
the bigger picture on arbitration of the third party. Then and there, everything
just makes sense in some way. In this case,
- Not all problems can be solved/meant to be solved. (it's a myth, no matter how badly you want it to)
- Not all wounds healed. (forgive but not forget; even if you moved on, the pain stays; even the heartbreak cured eventually, the scar would never fade away)
- Things, quite often, don't turn out the way you want it to. (what 'bout the futures we're planning and holding onto? What happened to all the promises and imminent happiness that we're anticipating? And most importantly, what do I do now?)
Wonder why
it’s so hard to keep a love flourishing now? I’m so baffled about how
relationship nowadays are so fragile, and how easy it can be compromised. I
reckon it all comes down to a few factors: lust, selfishness, self-centered,
ego, dissimilarity in mindset/goals as time goes, and etc. Being in the phase where
you have to relinquish your grip on the relationship you thought it might work
and last eternally, yet hold onto the faith that happily ever after does
happen? Not even the slightest chance. Even if people tell you that it’s just a
matter of time that your prince will come, but how can you tell if he’s the one
or just another mistake that could end disastrously? When all efforts gone down
the drain to no avail in previous relationship you’ve trusted wholeheartedly, what
are the odds that a new relationship would last forever?
I
get it, I genuinely do. Been there, done that. And darling, my advice? Saddle your own white
horse and quit looking for the right one!
When
you fall in love, you put a lot at stake. You pour your heart out, let your
guard down, expressing your affection/feelings, put in efforts and time
relentlessly, and the list goes on. What's worse? Whatever you give in may not be given in return. Love’s a gamble, you’re supposed to bear
some risks. It wasn’t meant to come easy, and if luck’s on your side, you’ll probably
take lesser detours to come across your soul mate. Else, as tormented as it is, shattered hearts and a
moment of hideous truths are inevitable. Accept that you loved enough to be
heartbroken, that you already lost someone that mattered to you and all you can
do is mend the fragmented heart and eventually, learn to love again.
I know it's easy for
me to say, but I’ve been through my worst and I’ve gone through it. I’ve someone
who loves me dearly as for now. We treasure each other and hope for the best for this
connection we have here, regardless of countless unknown challenges ahead of us.
May all the
brave souls who survived their heartbreak found the love of their life and
their happily ever after.
Xx Caryne.
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